Changes...

Its been almost a month since my last post, so I thought I would start to get caught up...I feel like I say this every time there is a lag in posts.  The truth is....1) I am lazy, there I said it and 2) things have been busy over here and life is changing...a little bit.

So two years ago I wrote about my new life as a SAHM, and so to keep up the "diary/journal" for my kids, I feel the need to write about how our life is changing once again.  For two and a half years, I have had the luxury of staying home with my kids.  Okay, at times it did not seem like a luxury.  Being home with two young kids is not as easy as I thought it would be. I would like to say that everyday was just wonderful, but that is totally not my reality.   Most days were wonderful. I was able to spend 5 great months with just  Luke while I was still pregnant with Adriana.  A time I will never forget!  Then Adriana was born and I was lucky enough to stay home with her from the moment she was born up until now.  I love that I was able to spend time home with both Luke and Adriana while they are growing up together.  We did so many things, we had numerous playmates,  experimented with paint, playdoh, coloring, dress-up...most of this stuff on a weekly basis.  I enjoyed dropping Luke off at school and being excited to pick him up and see what he learned that day. We often visited the gym, and splashed around in the pool...and sometimes just enjoyed lazy days at home.

Staying home with Luke & Adriana, I have also learned a great deal about myself as well. For starters, as much as I love these two kids to  pieces, I realized I also love being out in the real world having adult conversations. I realized how much I loved my old job - yes even though I was laid off!  I realized that I loved getting up in the morning, getting ready for the day, and having a plan of exactly what was ahead of me for the day, I loved lunching with friends, gossiping at the water cooler, and in all honestly being at work and having the responsibility of budgets, proposals, clients, deadlines.....I KNOW sounds completely crazy to most people. (and I am sure I will regret saying this someday)..but this was all stuff I missed...probably because I did not leave my job on my own....merely forced out by this god awful economy!

Now let me just say for the record...missing all of this does not mean that I did not feel accomplished and satisfied just being home with my kids. I love being with them more than anything in the world. I just learned that there are two sides of me.  I have experienced 2 1/2 very special years with two (out of three) loves of my life . So with all of this said,  (if you have not already guessed it) I have decided to go back to work ....for now.  I know it sounds crazy, but I think it is what is best...to jump back into the game.

Luke will be starting Pre K this year....and asks me everyday when he can go back to school and see his friends. He does not understand summer vacation just yet...he thinks school should be year round....I tell him to just wait until he has homework. School is fun at this age.  Sometime when he says these thing I realized he would much rather be playing with his friends than being at home with me.  Adriana is at a prime age where I feel confident to let her go out and become more social that she already is.  I want her to start enjoying seeing friends her own age, learning new things, singing songs, painting...all that fun stuff that comes with daycare -stuff that is hard to do on a daily basis when I am trying to juggle all the thousand MOM/Household/Wife duties on my list...I know my kids love being with me, but there is so much more out there that I know they will enjoy as well.  I know this entry is now starting to sound like I am trying to convince myself that this was a good idea...but I just feel like I need to get it down on paper so when they are old enough to look back and read about their childhood...I hope they understand why I made this decision.  I not only am doing this for myself..but also for them. I want them to know they are my number one priority in life!

So a new chapter is starting for the Gormsen's in 2011...I spent the last two weeks spending quality time being home with Luke & Adriana...time that I will always treasure.  Today was my first day going back to work...and I was sad to leave the kids at a sitter's house - even though I really like her.  It was challenging being away from them all day, wondering what activities they were doing, if they were behaving, listening & following the rules,  what were they eating??  were they using their manners that I have tried so hard to teach them.......and when I walked through the door at 6pm...I was flooding with hugs and kisses and TONS of stories from their  exciting day.....it was the perfect end to my day.  So not sure how long this going back to work stunt will last..only time will tell....all I know is today was a good day for the Gormsen crew!